Babies and Mamas

Baby Fever: It's a real thing.

Honestly, I didn't think I would catch it... ever.  I thought one day, in the far far future, Jeromy and I would logically decide it was time, pray for confirmation, take some cute pregnant wife and husband pictures, and out a baby would come.  I was expecting the baby phase to come rationally and timely, like clockwork, but not like a fever.

I especially didn't expect to catch baby fever so soon after getting married, but I did.  A perfect storm of sorts swirled together to make me particularly susceptible to the virus.  There was the healthy component of loving Jeromy so much that I wanted to share that experience with him.  Then there was the unhealthy desire for the next step, essentially a perpetual "what's next?" mentality.

Of course it didn't help that someone in every sphere of life and almost every circle of friends was pregnant or a new parent.  I've sat next to three coworkers who, one at a time, got pregnant, were pregnant, and had or are having beautiful babies.  Two couples in my small group subsequently traveled through the same cycle while one of my peer volunteers at CHAT is pregnant now.  Weekly baby bump checks are commonplace.  We brought dinner to a couple of our neighborhood friends that are new parents just this Wednesday.  Every time I turn around at church there is a pregnant belly or a wide-eyed newborn rocking in the back with his mom.

It seems absolutely ridiculous, but, I want a baby.  I want to be a mom.  Unless God throws a curve ball at us, I know now is not the best time.  I also know that being a mom takes a LOT of selflessness and lately I've been convicted of a LOT of selfishness.  I like choosing when to serve.  I like my space.  I like rest.  I like freedom.  I like my routine.  I like weekend adventures.  I like sleeping in.  For that matter, I like sleeping.  I like alone time with my husband.  I like alone time with God.  I like visiting friends in fun places.

All that to say, realizing the many areas that need growth in order for me to be a good mom calms the baby fever.  It also reminds me of the awesome moms Jeromy and I have and the pattern of selfless sacrifice they have made to rear and raise us.  Happy Mother's Day Mom, and to all the others that chose the selfless way.