Glad and Thankful

The last week of May marked the end of Kelsey’s three-round chemotherapy prescription. With much joy, we continued to eagerly wait for her body to heal from the aggressive treatments so she could be tested for any remaining cancer cells. Monday marked her final test to determine if any cancer remained. Then, we only had to wait for results.

“PET Scan was all clear!” was the message we received yesterday as Kelsey got off the phone with the doctor. “So glad to hear good news” was the text message I read from my mom yesterday afternoon.

So glad indeed. Glad for the hope that God will one day permanently deliver us from physical, spiritual, and emotional suffering into the new city and new bodies He designed for us. Glad for this hope that carries us through the here and now. Glad that He often chooses to give us a taste of that deliverance in our fallen earthly circumstances.

And thankful. I can’t remember the last time I was so full of thanks. Thank you Father for answering with a “yes” to us banging on your door for healing. Friends and Family, thank you for praying, for making bracelets, for offering to clean my parents house, for calling, for hosting, for visiting, for talking, for listening, for buying my sister a pedicure because you just wanted to do something. Thank you.

We are glad and we are thankful. Please pray for more good news in the coming months of check-ups and check-ins.



But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. (Psalm 5:11)

I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation. (Psalm 118:21)

Spring Moments

I did a terrible job of documenting my college experience with photos, mostly because someone else was always doing it for me, and with a better camera.  I'm trying to do better in this season.  Time flies when you have fun, and one must have pictures to show for it!

"I heart U"on top of slow cooker lasagna made by my husband. One of the many perks of marriage.



Cute.

Father with first year son-in-law. Funny.

Massive photo ops at Boston's Public Garden.

 Visiting friends in faraway places.

Pig roast to benefit Goochland Younglife.  Literal pig roast.

First day of summer associate position, complete with first day outfit and briefcase (bye bye backpack).

This Rocky Journey

Traversing this rocky ground of learning to love God for God’s sake and not for my sake is just that- ROCKY. I still love God most for what He does for me, for giving me purpose, deliverance, hope, fulfillment. And so, fulfillment has malignantly grown into an idol. Hunting and chasing, I'm leading myself astray. Sanctification has been confused with self-actualization.

 There is more. The destination is not self-fulfillment, but a stance committed to loving God for who He is, even when this does not always produce the adventurous living I want. Do I want pulse-pounding discovery of new heights or quiet and deep satisfaction?  Are these mutually exclusive?

 Stalling, disillusionment and confusion have all marked this journey. This is new: loving God more than loving the refined me.

We are not meant to be illuminated versions, but the common stuff of ordinary life exhibiting the marvel of the grace of God. Drudgery is the touchstone of character. The great hindrance in spiritual life is that we will look for big things to do. "Jesus took a towel . . . and began to wash the disciples' feet."

There are times when there is no illumination and no thrill, but just the daily round, the common task. Routine is God's way of saving us between our times of inspiration. Do not expect God always to give you His thrilling minutes, but learn to live in the domain of drudgery by the power of God.

Oswald Chambers

June 15

My Utmost for His Highest

The City

I often struggle to articulate why I live in what many Richmonders consider a “bad part of town.” The real answer is that it was the area that provided the most bang for my buck when Jeromy and I originally began apartment searching. More space, less money. The apartments in that particular neighborhood afforded space to sit and eat dinner at a table, enough space to invite others to sit at our table too! Enough said. Beyond that, I briefly cite my desire to live in a different part of the city than where I grew up. Nothing fancy, nothing noble.

The reason I decided to stay another year doesn’t discount the reasons above, but certainly has a little more meat to it. My block is not “rough” by any stroke of the imagination. It’s friendly, often loud and occasionally dirty, but I’ve discovered the value in living within the confines of the city for a few reasons.

First, lack of personal space ironically creates space for residents to know neighbors in a raw way. I can’t put on much of a face when it’s 6:30 in the morning and I’m standing outside in my pajamas, waiting for my dog to pee. Nor can I hide my poor parallel parking skills when the neighbors are standing four feet away from the ever elusive curb. My neighbors have seen me unguarded and real. My anonymity has been laid at the altar. Communication theory teaches that space equals power. Think of who has the largest office in a typical corporate environment; it’s the ones who possess the most power. Since Jesus suggests we relinquish power by giving ourselves away, it’s not a large leap to surmise that sacrificing space, and therefore power, is a step towards the life for which we were designed (a way contrary to the current of society). Of course, moving from acquaintances to friends takes time, but opportunities to know your neighbor and love your neighbor abound in the city. You could have very little in common with them, but you share common space and consequently share life, albeit unintentionally.


Secondly, Tim Keller of Redeemer Pres (NYC) notes that changes in law, art, science, policy, style, thought and ultimately culture always flow from cities into the rest of the world. It’s true. Our lawmakers, artists and stoics are primarily found working and/or living in between bustling city streets. Coined “center city ministry,” Keller sees reaching the world’s culture shapers as a first step in influencing culture and welcoming others into Christian community. It follows that Christians who desire to partake in this missional effort are better equipped to do so by physically moving to the epicenter of cultural tremors. This approach positions Christian witness to the creative class as an innovative yet essential priority. If you’re not familiar, see a few center city ministry examples below:


http://www.namb.net/send-cities/

http://thewellbrussels.wordpress.com/

http://www.redeemer.com/

Lastly, in direct obedience to Scripture’s call and Jesus’ example of serving the poor, cities provide a plethora of opportunities to minister in this way. In reality, most of the United States’ poor reside in rural environments, but many impoverished find asylum in the city as well. The below World Magazine article praises a Kentucky ministry called Challenge House, Inc. which draws local missionaries to reside in poor neighborhoods. A growing trend in inner city ministry, Church Hill Activities and Tutoring of Richmond follows a similar model. Four tutoring sites offer a space for kids to come, rest, and learn almost every day of the week. These sites aren’t instructional buildings, they are homes of CHAT staff, homes where kids celebrate at birthday parties and adults host friends for Saturday cookouts. These are normal people living in normal homes, but not in what we would consider a normal neighborhood. These folks don’t just run programs, but love their neighbors, the poor, as they live beside them day in and day out. One of the Challenge House, Inc. participants explains the heart of this ministry method by citing Dr. John Perkins, author of multiple books on inner city ministry. He says “Jesus came to earth, a rough neighborhood, to be with those who needed Him. His message to some affluent people: Relocate to poor areas.” Challenging, for sure. Read more here:


http://www.worldmag.com/articles/18138

http://www.chatrichmond.org/

These realities and movements speak more fully to why I am staying in the city and why I love the city. Goal for year two will be to grow from simply loving the idea to living the idea with authenticity. In the end, no matter what the land looks like around your house, that’s what matters.

Natural Order

I've been MIA for a bit, mostly due to long nightly walks I've been taking with the Lewis family's newest member!  That didn't take long, did it?  Jeromy and I adopted a 15 month-old pitbull mix from Animal Care and Control last week named Beanie.  She is mild-mannered, affectionate, gentle, and happy.  I love her.

It follows that I've been reading up on training and disciplining dogs.  Go big or go home, right?  A few tactics Jeromy and I have adopted are:

-the tight, short leash since whoever is leading the walk is considered the leader in the relationship

-consistent one-word commands

-refusing to cave (except for her first night with us in which she whined to be let out of her crate... I just couldn't take it!) 

Aside from the techniques, I've been learning the fundamentals of dog-dog and dog-human relationships by reading Cesar's Way.  Written by Cesar Millan, who was made famous by his Dog Whisperer television program, it's an incredibly thorough survey of dog psychology that insists on describing the foundational ways dogs think and act before offering specific, practical solutions for training.  In sum, it's primarily a "why" book, then a "how" book.  As silly as it seems to be this invested in the behavior of our dog, I'm intrigued by the governing principal of human dominance and dog submission.  In everything, you are to show yourself the "pack leader," loving, but strong.  According to Cesar and his plethora of success stories, the dog is happiest and most comfortable with you in this position.   

Jada Pinkett Smith explains in the Preface, "You see, we humans are the ones who have lost the concept of the natural order in which our dogs function... Cesar helps us understand the natural ways our dogs live, so they become more balanced and happier. Our dogs, in this state, enable us to develop a healthier companionship with them."

Cesar implores that we actually do our dogs a disservice by letting them prance around in control and succumbing to their demands.  A dog is most comfortable (and best behaved) when it knows who the leader is and what the leader wants, when "natural order" is maintained.

Martin Deeley, President of the International Association of Canine Professionals, further explains, "We have the means to help us achieve well-behaved dogs, yet we lack sufficient understanding of our dogs' natures. While most of us are well-intentioned and loving dog owners, this lack of understanding can create many common dog problems. Put simply, dogs are not small humans. They do not think like humans, act like humans, or see the world in the same way as humans. Dogs are dogs, and we need to respect them as dogs. We do them a huge disservice by treating them like humans and thus create many of the bad behaviors we see today... In this book, Cesar reminds us that the most important part of training a dog is building a healthy relationship between human and dog, one in which the boundaries between the two are clearly drawn."

I stopped when I read Deeley's commentary and re-read, extrapolating the concept to another dominant-submissive relationship, that of God and us.  Put simply, humans are not small gods.  They do not think like God, act like God, or see the world in the same way as God. Humans are humans.  We do ourselves a huge disservice by treating ourselves and each other like gods and thus create many of the bad behaviors we see today...  

We live most abundantly and securely when we find ourselves in the natural order designed for us.

We get messed up when we demand treatment as God OR when we put others in God's place.  I'm learning that dogs need boundaries, discipline, and a firm hand.  They need to live within the natural order created for them.  Incredibly, they not only need these boundaries, but enjoy the structure those securities provide.  Are we really so different?  I'm not saying humans are dogs in God's eyes.  We know we were created with the very Imago Deo of God in us.  Amazing.  But we do need discipline, training, and direction from our pack leader in the same way a dog does.  Not just because it will help us lead a fuller life, but because it is a reminder of the Father's love for us. 

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:5-11.


Disciplining Beanie (who we have actually renamed Bailey) is a sign of love.  It is meant to produce a comfortable, secure life for her in which she knows her boundaries and the behaviors expected of her.  In a similar and more magnificent way, God disciplines us to produce the fruit of peace and a harvest of righteousness in us.  It is for our good.  Why are we so stubbornly resistant to God's leadership of us?  Why are we so unwilling to submit?  Our culture implores us to believe that freedom comes through independence, yet the natural order created for us cries out "Follow!"  

God is teaching me a great deal about the beauty of submission to Him as a result of adopting Bailey.  "When dogs and human live together," says Cesar, "A calm-submissive state of mind is the best state of mind for the dog to have."  In recounting his childhood experience with dogs on his family's Mexican farm, he says, "The dogs always seemed happy, relaxed, serene, and content. They didn't exhibit stress or anxious behavior. They were healthy, balanced dogs, as nature intended them to be."  What's so wrong with striving to posture myself in a calm-submissive state before my Father?