Book Review: The Gift of Being Yourself

Acknowledging from the start that it may seem paradoxical to write a “book promoting self-discovery to people who are seeking to follow a self-sacrificing Christ," David Benner insists that knowing self and knowing God are intimately intertwined.  By knowing our vulnerabilities, our gifts, our pitfalls, and our own personalities, we can better know the God who made us and meet Him as He actively delivers us.   

In The Gift of Being Yourself, Benner doesn’t gloss over the importance of disciplining ourselves to sit at God’s feet so that we might really know Him, not just know about Him.  He encourages readers to meditate on the life of Jesus as described in the Gospels as one way to give shape, color, and flesh to the God we long to know.  He also spurs the reader on to meet God in the events of daily life by taking time to reflect with God on the happenings and subsequent reactions and emotions of the day.

Knowing oneself is clearly described as knowing ourselves in relation to God and also knowing ourselves as we are and as God intends us to be.  Benner affirms that we can’t really know ourselves without knowing simple truths about the way God made us: we are sinners who are deeply loved and we are works in progress with marvelous potential.  As such, we must dig deep to discover the self that is really present, that is the self that we would prefer to ignore.  To truly know oneself, the false selves so quietly crafted must be unmasked, accepted, and then sacrificed to God for transformation.  In this way, Benner hones in on developing an integrity and authenticity to the self that does not naturally exist.  Our natural inclination is to hide and pretend, but to truly experience the “gift of being yourself,” one must first come to terms with the real self that we might not even know until we trod deeper into the journey of self-discovery. This is the redemptive restoration process of the Christian life.

Thoroughly describing both the current situation and the journey ahead, Benner continues by offering practical ideas for how to identify the false self and grow into the true self that is uniquely made and distinctively called by God.  It is evident throughout the book that both the process and outcome of truly knowing self are grounded in the Lord and intended for His glory and our deep joy. 

Benner’s case that the journey of self-discovery and knowing God are co-dependent and inseparable is a believable one.  He supports his arguments with compelling biblical texts along with keen observations of the human psyche and development. I found the premise refreshing, especially as our sinful identity is increasingly emphasized while our dual identity as God’s image bearers is (albeit fractured images) is more and more so ignored.  We are indeed “God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works” (Ephesians 2:10).  Benner captures both identities quite well in this work and inspired me to know my true self in Christ.  

Around 100 pages, this is a simple yet centering read; especially relevant as we quickly arrive at the time of year in which we reflect on who we are and who we are becoming.  Get it!