Belated Valentine's Day Post

Recently, I've written more than one post that never made it onto the actual blog.  There's one about Tim Tebow that was one sentence away from completion.  It's now time for basketball.  There were some thoughts on Syria (?).  Rough, unfinished, nonsensical- they are all saved in my email.  Somewhere.  

Follow-through is lacking these days, and in more areas than just this.  [Sigh].  I won't list them all, but I repeated to myself this morning that God loves me regardless of the number of items on my good intentions list that remain unchecked.  He loves me and is for me.  His love doesn't ebb and flow with the tides of my productivity or lack thereof.  Amen. [End sermon to self]. Here's the post I began earlier this week, now only five days late :)

Valentine's Day evening involved a spot so cozy it feels like home, a leisurely and delicious dinner, red wine, and engaging conversation... with my RH community group a few blocks down.  Jeromy was at a four-hour bar prep class (gag), which he is most every Tuesday night (boo), so I was glad to have something fun to look forward to.  As we (three couples and myself) settled in to feast together, Daniel surveyed the group.  "So, does anyone here hate Valentine's Day?  Like, morally oppose it?"  Why did I not take a breath or even pause before answering?  

"Yes!  Why should there be a day set aside to treat your significant other the way they should be treated all the time?!  I told Jeromy to not even get me flowers.  I'd rather have them another day when I'm not expecting it.  We are called to love selflessly every day, not set aside one day to buy cheap and gaudy crap.  I do like the little gifts my parents get me though..."  I didn't shut up for at least five minutes, assuming the couples in the room were captivated by my diatribe.

"Yeah... that's kinda what I thought," murmured John before looking at his wife Kelly and trailing off.  Apparently, other people find worth in Valentine's Day.  (In Kelly's defense, Valentine's Day is the anniversary of their engagement).  Lessons learned: think before speaking and be diplomatic when speaking out special holidays.

I will briefly conclude my Valentine's Day hater speech here.  It's not that I'm against love or dates or romance.  I just appreciate all those things when they originate from a caring and attuned husband, not a commercial that serves as a profit-seeking calendar reminder.  "Valentine's Day is TUESDAY.  Get your someone special something special for Valentine's Day THIS TUESDAY."  Thank you.  Got it.

My frustration lies in the advertisement of love as a feeling, and we all know this is not true.  Love is each choice made for another at the expense of self.  Sometimes it feels great, sometimes it doesn't.  The lapses between sentimental special occasions in which it is easy and natural to love another are where the hard work and real love take root. 

"The couple whose marriage will certainly be endangered by them, and possibly ruined, are those who have idolized Eros... They expected that mere feeling would do for them, and permanently, all that was necessary," explains C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves. "When this expectation is disappointed they throw the blame on Eros or, more usually, on their partners."   

Personifying Eros, he continues, "He makes the vows; it is we who must keep them.  It is we who must labour to bring our daily life into even closer accordance with what the glimpses have revealed.  We must do the works of Eros when Eros is not present... And all good Christian lovers know that this programme, modest as it sounds, will not be carried out except by humility, charity and divine grace."

Scripture, per usual, says it best.  

God so loved the world that He gave... This is how we know what love is:  Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers (John 3:16 and 1 John 3:16).