More Questions for 2011

You might have read in one of the previous entries about my quest for some good, hearty questions to ask in 2011.  The idea actually crystallized back in the early days of 2010, mostly as a revolt against forming resolutions for the new year.  But there was also a part of me that was, and still is, hoping for new discovery and growth as a result of asking and answering those questions.  In the end, I want to ask questions of myself that nip at the roots of some nagging habits and behaviors instead of resolving to fix the symptoms.

Consequently, I've continued to ask my favorite question almost daily- "why not now?"  It's a super helpful one for kicking the procrastinator in me. 

My grandma would love a call from me right now. Why not now?
I really should check in on that friend. Why not now?
Me and God need some extended hours in prayer. Why not now?

Often, I can't offer any semblance of a legitimate response, so the procrastination attempt only seems that much more ridiculous, and thus, easier to conquer.  If I can offer a legitimate rationale for why whatever it is isn't happening now, then I also experience sweet freedom from the contrains of false guilt.  "Why not now" has proved to be a verbal kick in the butt widely applicable to almost anything.

My recent wrestling match with security has left me asking "where am I finding my security?"  Answers range from my husband to my finances, from a bowl of cookies and cream ice cream to winning favor in various social circles.  This question has proved to be a doozy for me.  My answers are wildly convicting, but I haven't quite figured out what to do once I answer the question.  More to come on this one.

So with "why" and "where" questions covered for now, I was excited to come across another question posed last Wednesday at http://www.thestubbornservant.com/, a blog written by Nicole Unice, a Christian counselor and writer in Richmond.  In an effort to explore her leadership mantra in her new role as a paid church employee, Nicole discussed her discovery of the question, "So what if it fails?"  Her entry mostly focused on applying this question in the context of leadership in ministry, but I found it applicable in my roles as a layperson and unpaid minister of the Gospel, and when I kept thinking about it, also as a friend, wife, runner, and human.

The question is relevant in so many spheres because it stands vis a vis against the tall boundary of fear that separates so many of us from authentic new life.  So what if it fails?  So what if I fail?  These questions courageously push back against the fear of failure that inhibits so many creative ideas and authentic attempts to live more abundantly.  "Eventually," noted Nicole of herself and her ministry partner, "we realized that our fear of failing was outweighing our heart and our desire to work hard in the quest to creatively reach others for Christ."

So, like all invigorating and inspiring ideas, I want to steal it.  It makes for an insightful question to add to my list for this year.  Really, so what if this idea fails?  So what if this attempt of mine fails?  So what if I go out on a limb to "creatively reach others for Christ" and I fail?  So what?  I'm pretty sure the answer is that I'm forgiven and redeemable and that God is bigger and more powerful than my failure.  Stay tuned for some specific application of this question in the coming weeks.