The City

I often struggle to articulate why I live in what many Richmonders consider a “bad part of town.” The real answer is that it was the area that provided the most bang for my buck when Jeromy and I originally began apartment searching. More space, less money. The apartments in that particular neighborhood afforded space to sit and eat dinner at a table, enough space to invite others to sit at our table too! Enough said. Beyond that, I briefly cite my desire to live in a different part of the city than where I grew up. Nothing fancy, nothing noble.

The reason I decided to stay another year doesn’t discount the reasons above, but certainly has a little more meat to it. My block is not “rough” by any stroke of the imagination. It’s friendly, often loud and occasionally dirty, but I’ve discovered the value in living within the confines of the city for a few reasons.

First, lack of personal space ironically creates space for residents to know neighbors in a raw way. I can’t put on much of a face when it’s 6:30 in the morning and I’m standing outside in my pajamas, waiting for my dog to pee. Nor can I hide my poor parallel parking skills when the neighbors are standing four feet away from the ever elusive curb. My neighbors have seen me unguarded and real. My anonymity has been laid at the altar. Communication theory teaches that space equals power. Think of who has the largest office in a typical corporate environment; it’s the ones who possess the most power. Since Jesus suggests we relinquish power by giving ourselves away, it’s not a large leap to surmise that sacrificing space, and therefore power, is a step towards the life for which we were designed (a way contrary to the current of society). Of course, moving from acquaintances to friends takes time, but opportunities to know your neighbor and love your neighbor abound in the city. You could have very little in common with them, but you share common space and consequently share life, albeit unintentionally.


Secondly, Tim Keller of Redeemer Pres (NYC) notes that changes in law, art, science, policy, style, thought and ultimately culture always flow from cities into the rest of the world. It’s true. Our lawmakers, artists and stoics are primarily found working and/or living in between bustling city streets. Coined “center city ministry,” Keller sees reaching the world’s culture shapers as a first step in influencing culture and welcoming others into Christian community. It follows that Christians who desire to partake in this missional effort are better equipped to do so by physically moving to the epicenter of cultural tremors. This approach positions Christian witness to the creative class as an innovative yet essential priority. If you’re not familiar, see a few center city ministry examples below:


http://www.namb.net/send-cities/

http://thewellbrussels.wordpress.com/

http://www.redeemer.com/

Lastly, in direct obedience to Scripture’s call and Jesus’ example of serving the poor, cities provide a plethora of opportunities to minister in this way. In reality, most of the United States’ poor reside in rural environments, but many impoverished find asylum in the city as well. The below World Magazine article praises a Kentucky ministry called Challenge House, Inc. which draws local missionaries to reside in poor neighborhoods. A growing trend in inner city ministry, Church Hill Activities and Tutoring of Richmond follows a similar model. Four tutoring sites offer a space for kids to come, rest, and learn almost every day of the week. These sites aren’t instructional buildings, they are homes of CHAT staff, homes where kids celebrate at birthday parties and adults host friends for Saturday cookouts. These are normal people living in normal homes, but not in what we would consider a normal neighborhood. These folks don’t just run programs, but love their neighbors, the poor, as they live beside them day in and day out. One of the Challenge House, Inc. participants explains the heart of this ministry method by citing Dr. John Perkins, author of multiple books on inner city ministry. He says “Jesus came to earth, a rough neighborhood, to be with those who needed Him. His message to some affluent people: Relocate to poor areas.” Challenging, for sure. Read more here:


http://www.worldmag.com/articles/18138

http://www.chatrichmond.org/

These realities and movements speak more fully to why I am staying in the city and why I love the city. Goal for year two will be to grow from simply loving the idea to living the idea with authenticity. In the end, no matter what the land looks like around your house, that’s what matters.

Natural Order

I've been MIA for a bit, mostly due to long nightly walks I've been taking with the Lewis family's newest member!  That didn't take long, did it?  Jeromy and I adopted a 15 month-old pitbull mix from Animal Care and Control last week named Beanie.  She is mild-mannered, affectionate, gentle, and happy.  I love her.

It follows that I've been reading up on training and disciplining dogs.  Go big or go home, right?  A few tactics Jeromy and I have adopted are:

-the tight, short leash since whoever is leading the walk is considered the leader in the relationship

-consistent one-word commands

-refusing to cave (except for her first night with us in which she whined to be let out of her crate... I just couldn't take it!) 

Aside from the techniques, I've been learning the fundamentals of dog-dog and dog-human relationships by reading Cesar's Way.  Written by Cesar Millan, who was made famous by his Dog Whisperer television program, it's an incredibly thorough survey of dog psychology that insists on describing the foundational ways dogs think and act before offering specific, practical solutions for training.  In sum, it's primarily a "why" book, then a "how" book.  As silly as it seems to be this invested in the behavior of our dog, I'm intrigued by the governing principal of human dominance and dog submission.  In everything, you are to show yourself the "pack leader," loving, but strong.  According to Cesar and his plethora of success stories, the dog is happiest and most comfortable with you in this position.   

Jada Pinkett Smith explains in the Preface, "You see, we humans are the ones who have lost the concept of the natural order in which our dogs function... Cesar helps us understand the natural ways our dogs live, so they become more balanced and happier. Our dogs, in this state, enable us to develop a healthier companionship with them."

Cesar implores that we actually do our dogs a disservice by letting them prance around in control and succumbing to their demands.  A dog is most comfortable (and best behaved) when it knows who the leader is and what the leader wants, when "natural order" is maintained.

Martin Deeley, President of the International Association of Canine Professionals, further explains, "We have the means to help us achieve well-behaved dogs, yet we lack sufficient understanding of our dogs' natures. While most of us are well-intentioned and loving dog owners, this lack of understanding can create many common dog problems. Put simply, dogs are not small humans. They do not think like humans, act like humans, or see the world in the same way as humans. Dogs are dogs, and we need to respect them as dogs. We do them a huge disservice by treating them like humans and thus create many of the bad behaviors we see today... In this book, Cesar reminds us that the most important part of training a dog is building a healthy relationship between human and dog, one in which the boundaries between the two are clearly drawn."

I stopped when I read Deeley's commentary and re-read, extrapolating the concept to another dominant-submissive relationship, that of God and us.  Put simply, humans are not small gods.  They do not think like God, act like God, or see the world in the same way as God. Humans are humans.  We do ourselves a huge disservice by treating ourselves and each other like gods and thus create many of the bad behaviors we see today...  

We live most abundantly and securely when we find ourselves in the natural order designed for us.

We get messed up when we demand treatment as God OR when we put others in God's place.  I'm learning that dogs need boundaries, discipline, and a firm hand.  They need to live within the natural order created for them.  Incredibly, they not only need these boundaries, but enjoy the structure those securities provide.  Are we really so different?  I'm not saying humans are dogs in God's eyes.  We know we were created with the very Imago Deo of God in us.  Amazing.  But we do need discipline, training, and direction from our pack leader in the same way a dog does.  Not just because it will help us lead a fuller life, but because it is a reminder of the Father's love for us. 

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:5-11.


Disciplining Beanie (who we have actually renamed Bailey) is a sign of love.  It is meant to produce a comfortable, secure life for her in which she knows her boundaries and the behaviors expected of her.  In a similar and more magnificent way, God disciplines us to produce the fruit of peace and a harvest of righteousness in us.  It is for our good.  Why are we so stubbornly resistant to God's leadership of us?  Why are we so unwilling to submit?  Our culture implores us to believe that freedom comes through independence, yet the natural order created for us cries out "Follow!"  

God is teaching me a great deal about the beauty of submission to Him as a result of adopting Bailey.  "When dogs and human live together," says Cesar, "A calm-submissive state of mind is the best state of mind for the dog to have."  In recounting his childhood experience with dogs on his family's Mexican farm, he says, "The dogs always seemed happy, relaxed, serene, and content. They didn't exhibit stress or anxious behavior. They were healthy, balanced dogs, as nature intended them to be."  What's so wrong with striving to posture myself in a calm-submissive state before my Father?



Pet Ownership: Frivolous or Fruitful?

Saturday morning graciously afforded me time to sleep in, and oh was it marvelous.  I hopped out of bed feeling well rested and spry, thankful for the weekend and all the promising possibilities ahead.  Light was already trickling in through the windows and the 80-something number and sun icon I saw on the weather forecast scrolled across my mind.  I made my way to the kitchen, surveying the many delicious breakfast options and the time on the oven clock that seemed overly generous.  It was one of those moments you feel as though you are the protagonist in a movie.  Not just any movie, but one with a spunky, upbeat soundtrack.  It was just that good.

While cleaning up from breakfast, I caught movement on our back porch from the corner of my eye.  A deliberate look in that direction revealed an unfamiliar, yet friendly looking dog at the door.  A step toward the door revealed another young, yellow mid-sized dog wagging his tail and finally, nose to the glass, I noticed our neighbors' sweet basset hound Miles in the middle of all the action.  The trio begged for attention, so Jeromy and I stepped outside to treat them to some lunch meat. We were smitten.  Good natured and well groomed, the dogs didn't offer much to dislike.  They were sweet, innocent, and playful.  Thus began Jeromy and I's obsession over the idea of adopting one of our own.

It must have been this movie-like moment combined with my parents' recent dog purchase that has catapulted the discussion.  Should we adopt a dog?  If so, what kind?  How much would it cost?  Could it handle apartment life?  Who will take care of it when we're out of town?  How do the pros and cons stack up?  At some point yesterday I asked Jeromy, "Do you think Jesus would adopt a dog?"

Great question.  If the Son of Man didn't have anywhere to lay His head, how would He have carried a canine around with Him from dusty city to dusty city?  I can't picture it.  But, would Jesus have owned a dog today if He were breathing, walking, talking, and residing in my neighborhood?

On one hand, pets tie you down and assert weight in decisions in which they have no place.  The answer to questions like "Should I go visit my friend two hours away to celebrate her engagement or stop by my grandpa's house on my way home from work?" should never ever be answered based on the preference of the four-legged household member.  I shudder at the thought of being absent to a person that needs a visit, place to stay, or lunch date in order to be present to an animal.  Call me cold hearted; it just doesn't seem right.  The issue of finances presents the same predicament.  I can't imagine saying no to a missionary in order to ensure a yes to purchasing dog food, and at this stage in life, most financial decisions offer either/or, not both/and options.  I want to make the right one.

Just a few minutes ago I heard yet another friendly exchange of two neighbors outside, both out granting their pooches a morning walk and happy to stop and catch up as their respective dogs sniffed each others' butts.  On the other hand, as I was reminded by my neighbors this morning, pets also draw people together by offering an easy (and cute) common denominator.  I might be too busy, rushed, or lazy to stop and make small talk, but if my dog wants to say hello, then so be it.  How funny that God would use a nonverbal creature to cultivate communication and even relationship, but it happens everyday.  I recently visited a friend in Boston and accompanied her on a "day in the life" in her occupation as a nanny.  Part of her responsibilities required daily trips to the dog park, so off to the dog park we went, with our "Chuck It" ball throwing device.  Even in this reputably harsh "fend for yourself and don't smile at me" kind of city, we were approached by another doggie parent out for a midday romp.  An easy and comfortable conversation ensued.  I won't flatter myself: It wasn't me, it was the dog.

So, would Jesus own a dog?  Should I?  I'm weighing the pros and cons, but the friendly exchanges I hear outside my window many mornings paint an alluring picture.  In the end, I know God will use either decision for my good and His glory, but I desire to follow wisely on the front end.  Is pet ownership a wide open door to loving our neighbor or a black hole for valuable energy, money, and time?

 

From top to bottom, Ms. Iowa, Sammy, and Edgar, just a few of the Richmond Animal League adoptees ready and waiting to be adopted.

God's Response Courtesy of Oswald Chambers

May 18-

Behold the fowls of the air...
Consider the lilies of the field.
Matthew 6: 26, 28

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they simply are! Think of the sea, the air, the sun, the stars and the moon-- all these are, and what a ministration they exert.  So often we may God's designed influence through us by our self-conscious effort to be consistent and useful.  Jesus says that there is only one way to develop spiritually, and that is by concentration on God.  "Do not bother about being of use to others; believe on Me" --pay attention to the Source, and out of you will flow rivers of living water.  We cannot get at the springs of our natural life by common sense, and Jesus is teaching that growth in spiritual life does not depend on our watching it, but on concentration on our Father in heaven.  Our heavenly Father knows the circumstances we are in, and if we keep concentrated on Him we will grow spiritually as the lilies.

The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us and talk to us, but those who live their lives like the stars in heaven and the lilies in the field, perfectly simply and unaffectedly.  Those are the lives that mold us. 

If you want to be of use to God, get rightly related to Jesus Christ and He will make you of use unconsciously every minute you live.

 -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

 

Who v. What

Aimlessness has snuck in as of late, and frankly I think it spawns from God patiently teaching me to follow HIM, not just His mission, challenging me to love Him more than His mission. 

I don't know how to do that, so my steps recently have become shaky.  His mission is a lot more tangible to me than He is, if separating the two is even a thing that can be done.  I'm convinced that  focusing on who God is more than what He does will grow my intimacy with Him, so I'm trying to learn.  It's easy for me to get swept up in fairy tale-esqe action, but more difficult to stare into the eyes of a God who made me and know that He is God without focusing on the trail of beautiful footprints He leaves.

More on that later, but this lingering question has led me to evaluate who I follow, and how that fanaticism or discipleship arose in me.  Specifically, do I follow people apart from their actions?  Do I follow people simply because of who they are?  I am aware of the movements, ideas, and fashions of thinking that have caught my attention, but I am far less cognizant of the people, if any, who have made me follow solely with the bait of their identity and not their works.  Could someone be so captivating?  If anyone could garner following by identity alone, certainly it is Abba. 

Babies and Mamas

Baby Fever: It's a real thing.

Honestly, I didn't think I would catch it... ever.  I thought one day, in the far far future, Jeromy and I would logically decide it was time, pray for confirmation, take some cute pregnant wife and husband pictures, and out a baby would come.  I was expecting the baby phase to come rationally and timely, like clockwork, but not like a fever.

I especially didn't expect to catch baby fever so soon after getting married, but I did.  A perfect storm of sorts swirled together to make me particularly susceptible to the virus.  There was the healthy component of loving Jeromy so much that I wanted to share that experience with him.  Then there was the unhealthy desire for the next step, essentially a perpetual "what's next?" mentality.

Of course it didn't help that someone in every sphere of life and almost every circle of friends was pregnant or a new parent.  I've sat next to three coworkers who, one at a time, got pregnant, were pregnant, and had or are having beautiful babies.  Two couples in my small group subsequently traveled through the same cycle while one of my peer volunteers at CHAT is pregnant now.  Weekly baby bump checks are commonplace.  We brought dinner to a couple of our neighborhood friends that are new parents just this Wednesday.  Every time I turn around at church there is a pregnant belly or a wide-eyed newborn rocking in the back with his mom.

It seems absolutely ridiculous, but, I want a baby.  I want to be a mom.  Unless God throws a curve ball at us, I know now is not the best time.  I also know that being a mom takes a LOT of selflessness and lately I've been convicted of a LOT of selfishness.  I like choosing when to serve.  I like my space.  I like rest.  I like freedom.  I like my routine.  I like weekend adventures.  I like sleeping in.  For that matter, I like sleeping.  I like alone time with my husband.  I like alone time with God.  I like visiting friends in fun places.

All that to say, realizing the many areas that need growth in order for me to be a good mom calms the baby fever.  It also reminds me of the awesome moms Jeromy and I have and the pattern of selfless sacrifice they have made to rear and raise us.  Happy Mother's Day Mom, and to all the others that chose the selfless way.

Limits and Possibilities

I have arrived at a noteworthy point of life- the one in which I admittedly have traded in the hope of doing certain things that I read about in exchange for the reality of reading about certain things I know I will never do.

Outside magazine details many of these experiences for me.  If you have ever perused the contents of this magazine, you know what I'm talking about.  Outrageous, adventurous, and innovative, it's feature stories and cover studs initially inspire, then, as the storyline grows more captivating, inevitably remind me of the feats officially beyond the reach of my human hands.

So, here's to acceptance- both acceptance of limits as well as possibilities.  I'm noting some growth areas in myself as I journey forward past the idealism of university life.  Two years out, I can acknowledge that college lent it's ears mostly to possibility while turning a blind eye to limits.  Conversely, life gives ear to limits as well as possibilities.  I am only in my mid-20s, but I accept that limits exist for me, even now and as immaterial as they may be. 

It's officially the first time I've carefully considered and accepted the inescapable limits that accompany aging, so this post is meant to celebrate that milestone. 

Courtesy of outsideonline.com, here's a list of adventurous and skillful endeavors I will read about, but never do:

-chase down an antelope on the plains of New Mexico
-receive an Olympic gold medal
-travel the world on an international surfing tour
-run a marathon under four hours, let alone under two
-climb anything other than a carefully monitored climbing wall
-swim the English Channel
-earn the occupation of a SeaWorld trainer
-complete a full U.S. distance triathlon

The world may not be my oyster in the same way it seemed growing up, but hopeful alternatives to those I read of are within reach.  I will denote these "diet adventures," and have included at least the first few on my list of realistic possibilities below:
 
-sprint a 400 in less than 70 seconds again
-rent a surfboard, maybe purchase a lesson, and give it a try on timid VA Beach waves
-run a full marathon
-embark on the occasional camping adventure with my kids one day
-learn a new outdoor hobby and enjoy it with others
-run 1,000 miles in one year
-venture out in an African safari
-cycle from Richmond to Williamsburg on the Virginia Capital Trail
 
Adventurous?  Mildly. Realistic? Certainly.
 
It's time to come to terms with my limits and embrace possibilities.