Most mornings I wake up here and have little idea what the day will hold. Arab culture is more relaxed than the pace of life at home, which leads to many unexpected knocks at the door for a visit or conversations over tea that can last so long your legs go numb. Usually only one visit or event is scheduled for the day and catching up on emails, French study, and lesson plans can only take so long. English classes begin in one week, which will lend more structure and shape to my days, but until then, I wake up in the morning both ignorant and curious of what's to come.
Imagining yourself in my shoes might seem relieving and freeing or rather aimless and disappointing. I can assure you I've felt all of those emotions in the last three weeks. My personality loves planners, schedules, and fixed plans, but the hectic days of college have left me incredulous and somewhat guilty-feeling at the possibility of an open day on the calendar.
This lack of scheduling has forced me to become available to God in a new way. I can't categorize my life here among different commitments and then check tasks off as they are accomplished. There is no time set aside that is most certainly "my time." It all belongs to God. So, I'm learning to wait on God, I'm learning to pray in a desperate kind of way, and I'm learning to live, moment by moment, as God directs me. If it's time to study, I study, if it's time to prepare, I prepare, if it's time for a visitor, I visit, if it's time to rest, I rest. And, as I learned on Friday, if it's time to explain who Jesus is to the Iranian man at the copy store, I go with it. I don't believe God will waste my unplanned time here. So far, my availability to Him and to people has provided providential encounters and purposeful conversations remarkably different from my previous "scheduled to a T" life.
I can't plan on much here, but I can act out of a deep confidence in God's Sovereignty. Part of each morning is spent praying for what I can guess will occur in the next 24 hours. But now, mornings include a profession to my Father that He knows what the day will hold, in fact He is the very one who has crafted it for me, and an expectant plea to be made ready.
This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24.
Hi Claire,
ReplyDeleteThis is profound! Leaning into the divine planner w/submitted availability is what being a disciple is all about. For a fellow traveler from long ago, check out Abraham's call in Genesis 12. He followed in faith to the land that God would show him. I plan to read this post to the church on Wed night. Blessings!==Pastor Phil